It's a Jungle in Here

Our brains process workplace threats the same way our ancestors brain’s processed threats from charging tigers or suspicious rustlings in the bushes. Although we still need the flight, flight, freeze response to keeps us safe from harm outside the confines of the office, it continues to work hard to protect us in our professional world. Our brain reacts the same to workplace affronts and professional challenges as it does to physical threats, so receiving feedback in a performance review or finding out a colleague has received a promotion you thought was yours, can still make alarm bells ring in our heads, our pulses race and our palms sweat.

Keeping a cool head is hard because when our brain goes into defensive mode we are drawn to noticing and dealing with the threat rather than thinking rationally about the problem. There are many ways to control emotional reactions to today’s workplace challenges, all of which take effort and practice. These are 4 methods I find most effective - I hope they work for you!

1. Assume the best:

Just as often as not, what we have perceived as a problem turns out not to be a problem at all. A senior colleague grimacing during your presentation could be their bad back playing up not an indication that you are about to be fired. The person staring at you from the photocopier is worrying about being late for their meeting, not scolding you for taking a break. If you can assume there isn’t a problem until one is confirmed, you may save hours of fretting over nothing. And if not quite nothing, usually some things turn out to be much less of an issue than we initially thought. Assuming the positive until proven otherwise will save you emotional effort and time lost focussing on something that is not a bad as it seems.

Think back to some of your previous workplace challenges; recall how you felt at the time and notice how you feel about them now. Remember that what you are feeling now is likely to subside quickly and soon enough you will have moved on and the negative feelings will have passed.

2. Give yourself a reward:

Our brains are seeking to maximise rewards as well as minimise threats, and anticipation of a reward can distract our brains from focusing on the negative.

Rewards can be short term gains that we are used to, so thinking of something you enjoy, someone you love or something good that you have planned will start to refocus your mind. Consider also, that feeling capable, learning something new or having a sense of purpose have an even greater influence.. So ask yourself a rewarding question to start to feel better. For learning try, “what can I learn from this situation?” or for capable “when have I handled a similar difficult situation in the past?” or for purpose “what is most important for me to achieve here?”

3. Give yourself a break:

To keep performing at work, particularly with excessive pressure, we need energy, yet often avoid replenishing our resources when we need them most. The most successful executives take time for themselves and have routines that ensure they have enough energy to deliver; such as regular exercise, yoga or meditation. In Brendon Burchard’s book “ High Performance Habits” energy is the second most important habit for achieving long term success.

Research has proven that diminishing returns can set in when we work too long without a break. Often a refreshed mind after lunch finds the answer in minutes that has been alluding us all morning. Take regular breaks, get out of the office, move around or chat with a friendly colleague. Remember breaks are not a luxury; they are essential.

4. Be the first to step forward:

Reacting negatively to the difficult person or situation just amplifies it. You can start to resolve a negative situation by moving it onto a positive footing, but to do so you must take the lead. It takes humility to say “sorry” when you don’t feel it, back down when you are right, or let someone speak first who has said too much already. But doing so will diffuse tension and shift the energy to create a space in which to build.

Even better, use collaborative language to demonstrate your willingness to engage, such as “what I like about that is” or “yes, and we could think about adding to this with…” or “what could we do to make this work?”

There is much we can do to manage ourselves and improve our interactions at work through understanding how we react to workplace threats and learning to minimise their effect on us.

Let me know what works for you.

#ControllingEmotionalReactions